Lê-Jou-Eier: Poog jy om jou lewe te ontrommel?

Vandag besef menz dit hol in ‘n siklus.

As dit daai tyd van die maand is, gather menz. Dan hou menz van goeters en nog goeters en nog … Asof menz nes skrop op die verkeerde tyd – dit moet tog meer saamval met ovulasie, dan nie?

As menz nou eers oor daai tyd van die maand is, dan hou menz van minder goeters. Dan raak menz geirriteerd oor goed wat rondstaan en wat menz gedink het menz van hou maar nie meer van hou nie.

Foktog.

Poerdez

Bloggers wat nog nie voorheen deelgeneem het aan ons Lê-Jou-Eier bloguitdagings nie: Om raad te kry oor hoe om deel te neem en om elke week se aankondiging van die nuwe onderwerp te sien, besoek die volgende skakels Lê-Jou-Eier: Reëls en Lê-Jou-Eier: Hoe neem ek deel? Laasgenoemde blogpos bevat ook al die onderwerpe en skakels na vorige uitdagings.

 

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Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.

Totaal onverwags en meestal snaaks.

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station .

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted pay cheques.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’I put ‘DOCTOR.”

13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

21. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there’s a will, there are relatives.

Finally: I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

“Take my wife—please!” —Henny Youngman
“There but for the grace of God—goes God.” —Winston Churchill
“If I could just say a few words… I’d be a better public speaker.” —Homer Simpson
“If I am reading this graph correctly—I’d be very surprised.” —Stephen Colbert
“On his feet he wore…blisters.” —Aristotle
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” —Groucho Marx
“I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don’t know I’m using blanks.” —Emo Philips
“I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.” —Mitch Hedberg
“I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.” —Bill Hicks
“I don’t belong to an organized political party. I’m a Democrat.” —Will Rogers
“On the other hand, you have different fingers.” —Steven Wright
“He was at his best when the going was good.” —Alistair Cooke

Poerdez

Soms …

… weet menz nie of dit so ‘n goeie ding is om baie te weet nie. Eers het menz gedink dat mense wat nie nuus kyk of koerant lees nie, kop in die sand druk soos volstruise. Dat mens moet weet wat aangaan, dis belangrik. Mens moet mos weet!

Dan FB menz en raak vreeslik hartseer:

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Dan weet menz nie meer nie. Is dit dalk beter om nie soveel te sien en te hoor nie? Om nie te weet hoe wreed mense kan wees nie? Dat daar eintlik geen perke is aan die mens se wreedheid nie.

Dat diep binne-in ons eintlik maar net almal klein verwarde kindertjies is wat net liefde soek, maar te stubborn is om dit te erken?

Menz weet nie meer nie. Weet of nie weet nie, dit is die vraag …

Poerdez

7 x 4

Dis hoe lank ons al saam is: menz en menzseMan. 14 jaar saam en vandag 14 jaar getroud. 28 jaar se sakke sout, krisisse, hartseer, histeries giggels, tantrums en snork-lagge, slapelose nagte, orgasmes, droogtes, reën en reënboë.

En as menz weer kon kies, sou menz dieselfde man kies. Miskien net ‘n plan met ‘n bietjie minder kak.

Happy anniversary menzseMan!

Poerdez

Verbale mishandeling en angstigheid …

The Connection Between Verbal Abuse and Anxiety Everyone Ignores

There is a strong link between anxiety and long-term mental abuse. Chronic stress and trauma lead to various mental disorders, one of which is anxiety.  However, many people overlook the serious negative effects of mental abuse, but it is actually on the same level of harmfulness as physical abuse.   

People can suffer a lot due to being yelled at, insulted, and disrespected.  Scientists explain that cyberbullying and real-life verbal abuse are seriously dangerous, as they affect both hemispheres of the human brain, and lead to numerous health issues. 

According to Sherri Gordon, a published author, and a bullying prevention expert:

“Because verbal abuse isn’t as clear-cut as other forms of abuse and bullying, like physical bullying and sexual bullying, it can be hard to identify. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

Typically, verbal abuse involves some sort of verbal interaction that causes a person emotional harm. For instance, when someone is being downright critical, acting out in anger, and using words to try to control another person, this is verbal abuse.

This, in turn, leaves a victim questioning who they are. In fact, it is not uncommon for a victim of verbal abuse to feel inadequate, stupid, and worthless. After all, they are being defined by a verbally abusive person.

If verbal abuse occurs in a dating relationship, it can be particularly confusing because the partner is likely not abusive all the time. As a result, when the abuser is loving and gentle the victim can forget all the about the negative behavior.

Ultimately, the victim ends up ignoring the pattern of verbal abuse or makes excuses for the behavior saying things like he is just stressed out or he is going through a tough time right now.”

Verbal abuse can lead to the following:

Anxiety
Depression
Suicidal thoughts
PTSD
Chronic pain
Migraines
Eating disorders
Digestive issue
Short-Term Symptoms

Overthinking
Indecisiveness
Lack of enthusiasm and low self-esteem

Verbal abuse can be manifested through various kinds of behaviors, and the following can be clear signs of it:

1. Mood Killer

Abusers need to be in control of the situation, so they make you feel bad and spoil your good mood whenever possible since they feed when you are sad.

2. Name-Calling

Name-calling is a way to manipulate others and harm the victim.

3. Abusers Are Always Right

Abusers never apologize or enter a discussion about their behavior, as they believe they are never wrong.

4. Blame

Abusers blame other people for everything, in order to make them feel guilty and never good enough.

5. Jokes

If done without consent and permission of the other, joking can cause harm to the person affected.

6. Attack Interests

Abusers usually attack the hobbies, and interests of other people, making them feel worthless, and even end up lying.

7. Disrespect

Abusers usually disrespect others and do not appreciate anything other people do, making them feel useless and empty.

8. Behind Closed Doors

Abusers usually torment their victims behind closed doors, when no one can see them. Verbal abuse can happen at school, work, and at home, leading to severe trauma.

9. Isolation

Abused people often live isolated and avoid socializing, in order to protect themselves. They feel anxious when with other people since they lack self-confidence. In case you notice this, do your best to help this person.

Poerdez

Eskom, die ANC en die mislikepaliteit …

Fok hulle almal. As die fokkers nie so steel en dodgy tenders aan hulle maatjies toe gestaan nie, sou ons nie in so ‘n gemors gewees het nie.

Ons krag is al van 05h00 vanmore af. Die standaard verskoning is dat dit ‘n 132kv trip is. Altyd. Miskien kom die krag vandag aan, anders more.

Die mislikepaliteit weet nie van die probleem nie, want hulle sms stelsel waarby jy jou probleem aanmeld, het nie krag nie. Dus geen verwysingsnommer nie.

Die raadslede vra vir verwysingsnommers sodat hulle kan eskaleer. Uhm, iemand is fokken stupid.

Daarby word stage 3 loadshedding aangekondig wat beteken ons het nie krag van 09h00 tot 11h30 af nie. Verskoon tog, maar ons het reeds nie krag van 05h00 nie. Dus spaar ons seker genoeg krag van 05h00 af om die geskeduleerde loadshedding vry te spring?

Ons het ‘n 2 plaat gasstoof maar dis so ‘n schlep om elke keer die ding in te dra en die gasbottel te koppel en ‘n pot op die stoof te sit vir koffie-water. Gisteraand se aandete was tuna mayo broodjies met koeldrank. Miskien moes ons wyn daarby gehad het.

Kan menz asseblief bedank as lid van hierdie banana republic (shithole country) en aansoek doen om asylum by enige land wat nie op die Afrika-vasteland is nie?

Foktog.

Poerdez

Karma is ‘n bitch … of is dit?

12 Little Known Laws Of Karma That Will Change Your Life

1. The Great Law

“As you sow, so shall you reap.” Also known as the “Law of Cause and Effect.”
To receive happiness, peace, love, and friendship, one must BE happy, peaceful, loving, and a true friend.
Whatever one puts out into the Universe will come back to them.

2. The Law of Creation

Life requires our participation to happen. It does not happen by itself.
We are one with the Universe, both inside and out.
Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
Surround yourself with what you want to have in your life and be yourself.

3. The Law of Humility

One must accept something in order to change it.
If all one sees is an enemy or a negative character trait, then they are not and cannot be focused on a higher level of existence.

4. The Law of Growth

“Wherever you go, there you are.”
It is we who must change and not the people, places or things around us if we want to grow spiritually.
All we are given is ourselves. That is the only thing we have control over.
When we change who and what we are within our hearts, our lives follow suit and change too.

5. The Law of Responsibility

If there is something wrong in one’s life, there is something wrong in them.
We mirror what surrounds us, and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth.
One must take responsibility for what is in one’s life.

6. The Law of Connection

The smallest or seemingly least important of things must be done because everything in the Universe is connected.
Each step leads to the next step, and so forth and so on.
Someone must do the initial work to get a job done.
Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance. They are both needed to accomplish the task.
Past, Present, and Future are all connected.

7. The Law of Focus

One cannot think of two things at the same time.
If our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is not possible for us to have lower thoughts like greed or anger.

8. The Law of Giving and Hospitality

If one believes something to be true, then sometime in their life they will be called upon to demonstrate that truth.
Here is where one puts what they CLAIM to have learned into PRACTICE.

9. The Law of Here and Now

One cannot be in the here and now if they are looking backward to examine what was or forward to worry about the future.
Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, and old dreams prevent us from having new ones.

10. The Law of Change

History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

11. The Law of Patience and Reward

All Rewards require initial toil.
Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.
True joy comes from doing what one is supposed to be doing, and knowing that the reward will come in its own time.

12. The Law of Significance and Inspiration

One gets back from something whatever they put into it.
The true value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.
Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole.
Lesser contributions have no impact on the Whole, nor do they work to diminish it.
Loving contributions bring life to and inspire the Whole.
Karma is a lifestyle that promotes positive thinking and actions. It also employs self-reflection to fix the problems in one’s life.

Karma gaan jou op een of ander stadium inhaal…

Poerdez